I know I've abandoned my xanga for a couple months...but I'm back at least for now.

Since my spring break has been so oh so fun filled with studying and staying at home, I started watching Runaway Bride again. For a little background: Richard Gere’s character, Ike, is a journalist, and Julia Robert’s character, Maggie, is a girl who has run out on 3 weddings. Anyway, in the beginning of the movie Ike, is struggling to find a story to write about, and he unknowingly runs into Maggie’s last ditch in a bar, and this ex-fiance tells Ike to write about this “girl from [his] hometown” who “likes to dump grooms right at the altar”. Ike, after being “scolded” by a woman earlier and desperate for a story is inspired and writes the following article:

Today is a day of profound introspection, I have been accused of using this column to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex!  This uncomfortable accusation has plunged me into at least fifteen minutes of serious reflection, from which I have emerged with the conclusion that, yes -- I traffic in female stereotypes. But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well?  The mother, the virgin, the whore, the crone; they're elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators. But perhaps, in fairness to the fairer sex, I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon: I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader, the coed, and the man-eater, the last of which concerns me most today. To be fair, the man-eater isn't exactly new.  In Ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, the devouring death goddess.  In India, she is Kali, who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails while her yoni devour his -- dot dot dot, never mind.  In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater is called Ragma and in Hale, Maryland where she helps run the family hardware store.  She is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter.

 The article goes on to details of Maggie’s character from Ike’s eyes, but I’ll let you watch the movie if you want to find out more. This actually reminded me of a movie I had watch over a year ago. Back in '07, I had posted a scene from the movie The Mirror has Two Faces. Now I realize that I have yet to elaborate on my questions, new questions have interested me more. Just to refresh, the part that is in question now is the following:

So this is the scene at my sister's wedding:

There she is getting drunk, regretting that she got married, for the third time by the way. My mom is so jealous she’s sprouting snakes from her hair. lt was perfect. We've got three feminine archetypes: The divine whore, Medusa and me. What archetype am l?

- The Virgin Mary?

- Thanks a lot, Trevor. No, the faithful handmaiden. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

 Like Barbara Streisand’s character, Rose, and Richard Gere’s character, Ike, I have also noticed that like male archetypes that are always so prominently pointed out, the female archetypes of old are still alive and well today. You’ve got your innocent Virgin Mary, your nurturing mother, the whore who has been around, the crone who is old and disagreeable, Medusa, who despite her beauty is now regarded as a scary angry woman, and the faithful handmaiden who is always there beside her lady. These names may have been modernized a bit over the years. For example: the virgin is now the good girl, the whore is…well…still the whore or the slut, and the handmaiden is the best friend. Shakespeare once wrote that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, these characters, despite their name changes retain the same qualities they had from before.

The one that I most closely relate to is…well…not Medusa like many would think…but the best friend. Growing up, most of my friends were guys with my closest friends today being guys, but in recent years, even though I still hang out with a lot of guys, there has always been a girl that I’ve hung out with. The funny thing is…all these girls that I have hung out with have one thing in common: she’s single when we start hanging out a lot, and then she hooks up with someone right before we stop hanging out as much. Coincidence? Perhaps, or I was playing around with a different theory. In 2007, the movie Good Luck Chuck came out. I personally thought it was a bad movie but a clever way to market a soft-core porn movie to the masses and pass it off as a comedy, but that’s aside from the point. For those who didn’t waste their time and/or money to watch the movie, Chuck was a guy who happened to be cursed or blessed…depending on how you look at it…with the fact that every women he sleeps with marries the next guy she dates. Now…I’m not sleeping with anyone, but I’m thinking that I may be cursed or blessed with the same thing…any girl I hang out with and get close to ends up getting a boyfriend. Given, this is just my speculation, but it is a plausible hypothesis.

In every movie/story, you see through how the main character meets his or her match and their trials and their eventual hook up…but what about their best friend? Once in a while you’ll get a nice author who will throw the best friend a bone and let them find their own romance, but most of the time, they are just there to support their friend through good and bad and look on happily while they get their happy ending.

Now, if anyone knows me, they know that I am not one to go out looking for a relationship or romance or anything of the matter. How I see it if it comes, it comes…if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be…but come on...After seeing so many hook ups around me, once in a while, I find myself asking…”what about me?” When it comes down to it, I don’t even think it’s even the time for me to be in a relationship, but when you see all the mushiness around you, it’s hard not to miss being in one. I love my girl friends, and I’m happy that they’re happy. I’m also happy to be there for them when they’re not happy…but it’s getting kind of old: different girl…same story.

Over the last month or so, there has been some drama that I don’t care to talk about, but it did make me realize one thing…I’m tired. I never thought of myself as the best friend in a story before, but seeing how different my guy friends act towards someone they are interested got me thinking about it all. As much as I like being there for my friends, I’m tired of them having to think twice before they do the same for me. It’s gotten to the point where I give and give…and I’m at the point where I have nothing left to give. Maybe I’m just more jaded than I was before…I just know that I’m tired. Of course most of my friends are willing to be there to help me…but there are those who I’m just tired of pretending that it’s all ok. When it gets to a point, words mean nothing…actions that should have been done before…mean nothing…it’ll take something grand…funny thing is…I don’t even know what that would be.

Weird…I didn’t see this post heading in this direction, but hey…when the brain’s juices flow, they flow. On the bright side, things have been looking up for me. My problems may not have been fixed, but the entrance of old people and the introduction of new people into my life have helped. Now that I’m past my low…I could start looking up again.

Anyway…the song of the post has NOTHING to do with the post at all except for the fact that I heard it in Runaway Bride.

Quote of the post: "Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things." - Unknown

Song of the post:

Watch video here

Download here

Before I Fall in Love - Coco Lee

[Verse 1]
My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
Am I just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true, could you really be

[Chorus]
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know, before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now, before I fall in love

[VERSE 2]
I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I want to take a chance
Oh please, give me a reason to believe
Say, you're the one, that you'll always be

[Chorus]

[Coda]
It's been so hard for me to give my heart away
But I would give my everything,
Just to hear you say (you're)

[Chorus]